My Mother by Yvonne Cnudde (Ballegeer)

 

MOTHER or Mom as we called her, was a simple person whose life was dedicated to hard work and a matter of fact approach to life. She said what she thought and the world could take it or leave it.

 

Mom was the most independent person I have ever met. She asked for nothing that she could not accomplish herself.

 

Mom was also very stubborn and determined. While she was in the hospital she suffered a stroke which left her right side weak and I would find her trying to pull herself up to the rails of her bed. When asked what she was ding she said that she would not get stronger unless she worked at it. Many times she would ask to sit in a chair to “help her gain s strength” even though she was very weak and tired; she amazed the Doctor and those that cares for her with her ability to fight back when everyone else had given up hope for her recovery. Mother never gave up hope and she was determined that she was going to get better. She never lacked in hope and determination.

 

One dream she had was to have her oldest child graduate from high school. No one in her family had ever done so and I was the oldest. She fought tooth and nail to see that I got the five miles into town so I could complete the three years I needed so that o could complete grade 12. Then she made a trip into Winnipeg to buy the most wonderful gown so I could be like the other girls when I graduated. Talk about pressure. I did not dare fail

 

Sometime during these high school years Mom went out and found herself a job in the kitchen at Pilot Mound hospital. This was so that we kids cold have some of things in life that she thought we should have. Very little of her salary went towards giving herself any of these nice things. Beside her job she milked cows, raised chickens, baked all the family bread, did all the other baking needed, and canned and froze things to use during the winter to feed the family. She grew raspberries, strawberries, plums and apples for sale as well as for our own use. she grew a huge garden and kept a shiny clean household with none of the modern conveniences that we have today. We kids were expected to help of course and no arguments would save us from our chores. Her example taught us that hard work and tenacity was the only acceptable way of life.

 

During this time she also knitted sweaters, mitts and socks for the family. Found time to do her fancy work which was embroidery work and crocheting doilies. She crocheted many countless small pieces for fed spread and a number of table sized pieces.

 

She spent countless hours at the sewing marching making lovely quilts which she shared with us and others. Mom also made her own clothes, many of which were made out of something that had been given to her.

 

One day she announced that she was going to sell Tupperware. For many years she was the Tupperware Lade that did house parties far and wide. People to this day will tell me they knew my mother because she sold them Tupperware. She was very dedicated to the product as here home was very well stocked with it. She also sold Regal and bought things for the home with her earnings.

 

Then she discovered Bingo. She was an extremely lucky bingo player and on occasions won quite large sums of money. How she loved her bingo buddies and remained friends with them right up to her death. She asked many times for Edith and yogi as they were her close neighbours and accompanied her to her bingo genomes. Often giving her rides and even caring for her as her health declined.

 

Another activity my mother loved was travelling. She developed a taste for it accompanying my oldres5t brother Arthur and his wife Linda on many trips to Florida, Las Vegas and many other places. She also visited Vancouver and Oregon with my daughter Tammy and me. Later she began to take bus tours. Her sister Bert and Mom travelled all over North America. They enjoyed their trips together and came home with lots of pictures and adventures to talk about.

 

She kept close ties with her four sisters, three of which are now deceased. Her youngest sister Rose was very faithful, visiting her frequently and spending time with her. Rose and Elton spent many hours at the hospital in her last days showing love and support.

Mom had tragedies in her life time. Our life was divided into two parts, before the fire and after the fire. On Nov 14^th 1946 the farm home burned to the ground. She discovered (actually Cecile smelled smoke and called her mother) the fire raging at its fullest as we were all still sleeping very early that morning. She single handily saved me and my sister Cecile from the flames then returned into the house to save my youngest sister Aline. One that stuck in my mind was that she also got blankets and threw them out so that we would not be cold. My two older brothers Rene and Eugene were sleeping upstairs. She called and called to wake them for there was no way she could get to them. Rene jumped out of the second story window but Eugene never made it out. Rene died the next day from extensive burns. Mom was very badly burned about her face and arms and upper back. She spent many weeks in the hospital fighting for her own life as medicine was not up to today’s standards.

 

 She refused plastic surgery as there was no money available. Later in her life she had to have surgery on some of the scars as they were restricting movement6 of her arms. The funny thing about her scars is that I never noticed them when I looked at her. During her hospital stay in the last two and a half months I realized that a lot of her scars had faded. Mother mourned the loss of her two oldest sons the rest of her life. even in the last few weeks she suffered terrible nightmares all dealing with fire. She told me of the many days that she was afraid to sleep because of her dreams. They were very real to her.

 

At one point I accused her of “not liking my husband Bob”. She had always felt that I had married too young, before I could have a career. She looked at me, nailing me with those expressive eyes and stated “Hun He was always to goof for you”. As usual she was probably right. The last word she said to me before she lapsed t into a coma was “Bob”.

 

One night just shortly before she lost her ability to express herself, I was saying good n night to her and she waved her hand for me to come closer. I bent over her and she put her arm around my nick and pulled me down close and kissed me on the cheek. She had never been a kissy huggy type of mother and that action left me in tears.

 

She showed a fantastic sense of humour also. She adored her doctor, Doctor Desmond. He would come to see her every morning and have a little chat with her. One day after his visit the nurses were teasing her and told her to ask Doctor Desmond for a kiss when he came the next day. When he arrived the next morning she did ask him for a kiss, not for herself but for hew daughters as she said no one wanted to kiss an old lady. This was done with a twinkle in her eye.

 

Another hilarious incident was over a bottle of beer. Mother decided one Sunday that she wanted a bottle of beer. Now I have never known her to drink even one bottle of beer. She even said she would not come to my wedding if alcohol was served. Ho9w ever this Sunday afternoon she wanted a beer. My sister and I told that we could not get her a beer as it was Sunday and the bar was closed. She talked and talked about the beer so I finally told my sister to call my husband Bob and to get him to bring mom a beer. An hour later Bob arrives with her beer, she was so happy that he drove all the way from Holland to bring her a beer. A little while later as I was giving her a drink of juice and she motioned to me to come closer. She whispered in my ear “you didn’t put beer in it did you? I can’t drink it if you did as I am not used to beer.” She then decided that she would share the beer with Doctor Desmond the next morning. Mom never did drink her beer but she brought lots of smiles to peoples faces because of her beer.

 

Mother did have a close friend and confidant. If any of you noticed, there is picture here of a cat. “Stupid” has kept her company for many years. The cats name has made many people wonder who she was speaking to when she talked to Stupid. Just after she got this cat it stayed out over night and froze its ears and tail. She told the cat it was stupid for staying out in the cold and the name stuck. When she became ill and had to be hospitalized, she missed Stupid greatly.

 

Mom loved her “Kids” as it wasn’t easy for her to express it and it wasn’t easy for her to praise us for she felt is we did well in something it was only what she expected. If we did not do well she still supported us as much as she could, often at great sacrifice to herself. I hope everyone appreciates the sacrifices she had done.

 

As I said earlier Mother marched to her own drummer. She helped me realize that this was an OK thing to do. She was a strong determined woman who lived her life the best she knew how and that it wasn’t anyone’s right to tell her any different.

 

 

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