Another year and  I made it to another birthday  It makes me think back to years gone by when I thought that the years went by so slow. I think back in particular the day I started smoking. Don't remember where I got the cigarettes even. I sat on my bed with the window open thinking that I would let the smoke whirl out the small holes at the bottom of the storm windows.

 

When my Dad had built the extension he put two windows in on the same corner of the room. My bed was positioned under the windows. A perfect place I thought as I fanned the smoke out those holes not realizing that smoke would cling to my clothing and hair.

The thoughts of youth. Of course my mother knew, " Were you smoking?" How I thought I would get away with it. So simple. HA! Mother's knew. From then on I smoked until thirty three years later when I quit along with Ron. Cigarettes at that time were five dollars a pack.

 

There was a sort of freedom in quitting, a freedom I had not noticed before I quit. I did not have to make sure I had enough money to buy cigarettes, that I had enough cigarettes when I traveled. Could I buy Canadian cigarettes in the USA when we travelled down there. I noticed after awhile that when I stood beside anyone else that smoke, they stunk of cigarette smoke. (I learned there was no such word as litterly).

 

I never realized how the smoke affected all of my surroundings from coating the walls, windows and everything in the house, including all of us breathing the second hand smoke. We had moved into a smaller house and in the process of getting it ready to move, I had to deal with layers of smoke as the previous owner was a smoker. On a built in cabinet in the bedroom, I finally had to wallpaper over the glass doors as the smoke stain could not be removed. Each window I washed took a clean pail of water to remove the brown stain from smoke. Imagine having to clean the whole house when wherever I looked was brown from smoking.

 

A few years later Ron had purchased a Dodge camper van. It was left to me to clean and make it ready for camping. It took me four pails of water just to clean the ceiling of the inside of that van, never mind the walls and the cupboard, inside and out. Yuck, how could I have smoked at one time and not realize what it was doing to my surroundings. Hindsight I guess.

 

Its been twenty two years since I quit and have never regretted it. I don't have any extra money and wonder how in the world I ever found the money to sustain my habit. Probably never really know. Looking back I suppose my family had to do without things as between Ron and I we were smoking three packs a day. Ron smoked two and I smoked one, but as it later shows I was more addicted to smoking than Ron was or he was more able to handle it than I. I tried many things to quit until one day I saw an ad on quitting smoking. It was done with laser and it said there was a sale on, half price. My Doctor had told me I had to quit but while Ron still smoked I was not about to quit with someone else still smoking in the house. Ron agreed and with a hundred dollars in our pocket and two cigarettes left, we smoked the cigarettes and then had the laser treatment.

 

The laser of course is only a crutch, just like the acupunctures, hypnotize, patches, gum and other ways of trying to quit. We walked out of that clinic and never looked back. The only time I did try to have a cigarette was when my father died. I took one puff and puked my guts out. Never again.

 

It still wasn't easy in the first couple of years, to have a smoke with our coffee, to tell ourselves to stay away from areas where there would be a lot of smokers was difficult. But as time went on, it became easier. A trick we used, was to drink something when we had a yen to have a smoke. Usually by the time we took a deep breath the urge was gone.

 

Other things may get us in the end, but no more smoking. The freedom is unbelievable.