My Mother by Yvonne Cnudde (Ballegeer)
MOTHER or Mom as we called her, was a simple person whose
life was dedicated to hard work and a matter of fact approach to life. She said
what she thought and the world could take it or leave it.
Mom was the most independent person I have ever met. She
asked for nothing that she could not accomplish herself.
Mom was also very stubborn and determined. While she was in
the hospital she suffered a stroke which left her right side weak and I would
find her trying to pull herself up to the rails of her bed. When asked what she
was ding she said that she would not get stronger unless she worked at it. Many
times she would ask to sit in a chair to “help her gain s strength” even though
she was very weak and tired; she amazed the Doctor and those that cares for her
with her ability to fight back when everyone else had given up hope for her
recovery. Mother never gave up hope and she was determined that she was going
to get better. She never lacked in hope and determination.
One dream she had was to have her oldest child graduate from
high school. No one in her family had ever done so and I was the oldest. She
fought tooth and nail to see that I got the five miles into town so I could
complete the three years I needed so that o could complete grade 12. Then she
made a trip into Winnipeg
to buy the most wonderful gown so I could be like the other girls when I
graduated. Talk about pressure. I did not dare fail
Sometime during these high school years Mom went out and
found herself a job in the kitchen at Pilot Mound hospital. This was so that we
kids cold have some of things in life that she thought we should have. Very little
of her salary went towards giving herself any of these nice things. Beside her
job she milked cows, raised chickens, baked all the family bread, did all the
other baking needed, and canned and froze things to use during the winter to
feed the family. She grew raspberries, strawberries, plums and apples for sale
as well as for our own use. she grew a huge garden and kept a shiny clean
household with none of the modern conveniences that we have today. We kids were
expected to help of course and no arguments would save us from our chores. Her
example taught us that hard work and tenacity was the only acceptable way of
life.
During this time she also knitted sweaters, mitts and socks
for the family. Found time to do her fancy work which was embroidery work and
crocheting doilies. She crocheted many countless small pieces for fed spread
and a number of table sized pieces.
She spent countless hours at the sewing marching making
lovely quilts which she shared with us and others. Mom also made her own
clothes, many of which were made out of something that had been given to her.
One day she announced that she was going to sell Tupperware.
For many years she was the Tupperware Lade that did house parties far and wide.
People to this day will tell me they knew my mother because she sold them
Tupperware. She was very dedicated to the product as here home was very well
stocked with it. She also sold Regal and bought things for the home with her
earnings.
Then she discovered Bingo. She was an extremely lucky bingo
player and on occasions won quite large sums of money. How she loved her bingo
buddies and remained friends with them right up to her death. She asked many
times for Edith and yogi as they were her close neighbours and accompanied her
to her bingo genomes. Often giving her rides and even caring for her as her
health declined.
Another activity my mother loved was travelling. She
developed a taste for it accompanying my oldres5t brother Arthur and his wife
Linda on many trips to Florida, Las Vegas and many other
places. She also visited Vancouver and Oregon with my daughter
Tammy and me. Later she began to take bus tours. Her sister Bert and Mom
travelled all over North America. They enjoyed
their trips together and came home with lots of pictures and adventures to talk
about.
She kept close ties with her four sisters, three of which
are now deceased. Her youngest sister Rose was very faithful, visiting her
frequently and spending time with her. Rose and Elton spent many hours at the
hospital in her last days showing love and support.
Mom had tragedies in her life time. Our life was divided
into two parts, before the fire and after the fire. On Nov 14th 1946
the farm home burned to the ground. She discovered (actually Cecile smelled
smoke and called her mother) the fire raging at its fullest as we were all
still sleeping very early that morning. She single handily saved me and my
sister Cecile from the flames then returned into the house to save my youngest
sister Aline. One that stuck in my mind was that she also got blankets and
threw them out so that we would not be cold. My two older brothers Rene and Eugene
were sleeping upstairs. She called and called to wake them for there was no way
she could get to them. Rene jumped out of the second story window but Eugene never made it out.
Rene died the next day from extensive burns. Mom was very badly burned about her
face and arms and upper back. She spent many weeks in the hospital fighting for
her own life as medicine was not up to today’s standards.
She refused plastic
surgery as there was no money available. Later in her life she had to have
surgery on some of the scars as they were restricting movement6 of her arms.
The funny thing about her scars is that I never noticed them when I looked at
her. During her hospital stay in the last two and a half months I realized that
a lot of her scars had faded. Mother mourned the loss of her two oldest sons
the rest of her life. even in the last few weeks she suffered terrible
nightmares all dealing with fire. She told me of the many days that she was
afraid to sleep because of her dreams. They were very real to her.
At one point I accused her of “not liking my husband Bob”.
She had always felt that I had married too young, before I could have a career.
She looked at me, nailing me with those expressive eyes and stated “Hun He was
always to goof for you”. As usual she was probably right. The last word she
said to me before she lapsed t into a coma was “Bob”.
One night just shortly before she lost her ability to
express herself, I was saying good n night to her and she waved her hand for me
to come closer. I bent over her and she put her arm around my nick and pulled
me down close and kissed me on the cheek. She had never been a kissy huggy type
of mother and that action left me in tears.
She showed a fantastic sense of humour also. She adored her
doctor, Doctor Desmond. He would come to see her every morning and have a
little chat with her. One day after his visit the nurses were teasing her and
told her to ask Doctor Desmond for a kiss when he came the next day. When he
arrived the next morning she did ask him for a kiss, not for herself but for
hew daughters as she said no one wanted to kiss an old lady. This was done with
a twinkle in her eye.
Another hilarious incident was over a bottle of beer. Mother
decided one Sunday that she wanted a bottle of beer. Now I have never known her
to drink even one bottle of beer. She even said she would not come to my
wedding if alcohol was served. Ho9w ever this Sunday afternoon she wanted a
beer. My sister and I told that we could not get her a beer as it was Sunday
and the bar was closed. She talked and talked about the beer so I finally told
my sister to call my husband Bob and to get him to bring mom a beer. An hour
later Bob arrives with her beer, she was so happy that he drove all the way
from Holland to
bring her a beer. A little while later as I was giving her a drink of juice and
she motioned to me to come closer. She whispered in my ear “you didn’t put beer
in it did you? I can’t drink it if you did as I am not used to beer.” She then
decided that she would share the beer with Doctor Desmond the next morning. Mom
never did drink her beer but she brought lots of smiles to peoples faces
because of her beer.
Mother did have a close friend and confidant. If any of you
noticed, there is picture here of a cat. “Stupid” has kept her company for many
years. The cats name has made many people wonder who she was speaking to when
she talked to Stupid. Just after she got this cat it stayed out over night and
froze its ears and tail. She told the cat it was stupid for staying out in the
cold and the name stuck. When she became ill and had to be hospitalized, she
missed Stupid greatly.
Mom loved her “Kids” as it wasn’t easy for her to express it
and it wasn’t easy for her to praise us for she felt is we did well in
something it was only what she expected. If we did not do well she still
supported us as much as she could, often at great sacrifice to herself. I hope
everyone appreciates the sacrifices she had done.
As I said earlier Mother marched to her own drummer. She
helped me realize that this was an OK thing to do. She was a strong determined
woman who lived her life the best she knew how and that it wasn’t anyone’s
right to tell her any different.
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